This is a great, concrete example of a situation we have all been in. I think we can all relate to feeling relief when someone offers to step in and take charge, to steer us back to safety. And some of us, in speaking with our friends, may want to be told what to do when faced with a difficult decision. Our friends may even think they are doing the right thing by stepping in, not realizing that this is a kind of concern that doesn’t allow us to make our own decisions and carry out our own solutions.
The problem is that in leaping in and taking charge, our friend has disabled us from taking care of our own business, and (more important in existential terms) unburdened us of the responsibility - which, of course, is what makes it so appealing. In giving over our responsibility and power to act, we allow our friend to dominate us, a pattern that undermines our agency. Unwittingly, we have put ourselves in a position of dependency with respect to our friend. In short, this kind of friend is one that robs us of our autonomy.
Compare this with the friend who leaps ahead of us instead:
This blog post is one in a series related to questions of the Other in Continental Philosophy. The following excerpt comes from Heidegger's account of Being-with (Mitsein) in Being and Time. You can listen to the full podcast below: